You jokes
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
What website should you go to to look up LSD dealers?
TripAdvisor.com
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
What do you call a gay Eskimo?
A snow blower.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.
Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.