You jokes
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
Do you know Imagine Dragons? Imagine dragon these nuts across your face!
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
Well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
Memes
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
What do you call a basement full of SJW's?
A whine cellar.
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
I see you guys have SANS-ational jokes!
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
What happens when you are playing Undertale, but it's snowy in town? It SNOWED in town!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.