You jokes
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
I see you guys have SANS-ational jokes!
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
Do you want to buy my Hoover?
I mean... it's just collecting dust.
What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.
How do you make a blow job OSHA compliant? You add a railing!
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.
The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."