You jokes

Robin: "The car's not working."

Batman: "Did you check the battery?"

Robin: "What's a tery?"

Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.

If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.

Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.

Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.

Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb. I said, "Awww, are you an orphan?" He said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

A: You slap her.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

Shrek is ugly, but not uglier than you.

What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.

Me: Can I get your mom's number?

Friend: Here you go:

Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.

You call it a burning orphanage. I call it FNAF lore.

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"

"Africa," the parrot replied.

Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.

You call, I'm putting on.

Frank (34) DJ.

Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus?

It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.

I still remember my grandpa's last words, "Stop wobbling the ladder, you cunt!"

What do you call a group of brothers who fuck one another?

Super Smash Bros.

Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?

They don’t deserve rights!

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.

One day you see a girl climb a pole and ask her, "Why are you climbing that pole?" "Because a boy paid me to." "He did that to see your underwear." "Oh. Ok."

The next day you see her do the same thing. "Why are you doing the same thing?" "Well, I got him this time. I did not wear underwear."