You jokes
The twin towers are like water bottles.
It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"But I'm not dead yet!"
"But we're not there yet."
Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?
Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?
If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.
Elephants never forget.
Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?
I heard it was because of pier pressure.
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
Don’t worry if you have a stroke.
You’ll be all right.
What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister?
You better not lay a finger on her!
When you have a bladder infection,
You're in trouble. 😜
What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE
Robin: "The car's not working."
Batman: "Did you check the battery?"
Robin: "What's a tery?"
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.
If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you never turn your back on family.
What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.
What do you call a guy from India calling you?
A scammer.
What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.
Are you George Floyd?
'Cause baby, you take my breath away... OOF!