You jokes
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower.
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
When you realize the shuttle blew up.
Then you realize you're on the shuttle.
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."
If you read this, you are gay.
"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."
What do you call a chubby Robert Pattinson? The Fatman.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
Hi, welcome to June's Orphanage. You make them, we bake them. How can I help you?
Mrs. Kadie, I heard about this Mr. Beast video about veggie burgers. I hope that you didn't trick me again.
Mr. Beast: Today we're gonna be eating a hot tender burger.
Mrs. Kadie: OMG he didn't say vegan!
Viewers: HAHAHA we tricked you!
Mrs. Kadie: That's it Mr. Beast, we're gonna pour blood on your face!
Mr. Beast & Chandler: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1!
Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?
"I finished my job."
What about me?
You want a joke? My entire existence.
Do you want to buy my Hoover?
I mean... it's just collecting dust.
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
Friend: Do you think she likes me?
Me: Yah.
Friend: Really😀😀😀?
Me: Hell no.
Friend: 😥😓😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 You did not have to be so honest.
Little Johnny asked the teacher why you were no shirt. Teacher says, "Because I want to." The teacher drops her pencil and picks it up. The class starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" A kid took off your bra, and we see your squish sexy boobs.