Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
You Jokes
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.
What do you call depressed coffee?
Despresso ;)
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
I would tell you a recycling joke.
But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?
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