You jokes
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
What do you call a bee’s love?
Honey.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
Papyrus ran headfirst into a windmill. Guess you can call him a bonehead.
Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.
What's an emo's favorite game?
Limbo.
(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)
What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?
If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?
Go through the dumbbell door.
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.