You jokes

One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.

Your forehead is so big your soulmate didn't even want you.

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

Hey, can I tell you a pizza joke?

Nah, it's too cheesy.

Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!

That's what you do. And the ahteot09oe.

Did you know that in 2001 there was an Among Us game, except that it was on a plane and had two imposters.

How do you fit 53 babies into a box?

First get a blender...

Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?

He won the no-Bell prize.

Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?

A: Because they're retired!

What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?

Fruit Loops.

Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?

Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows. No body, nose.

When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."

If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.

You have the rest of your life to figure it out.

These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.

Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.

What do you call a midget born from precum?

"Half Nut!"