You jokes
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
A high school pill party.
You are getting Cole for Christmas, you shit fuckers.
Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
I would tell you a recycling joke.
But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?
It's pretty much a downward spiral.
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!
Did you know Helen Keller had a sister?
Neither did she.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.
Kid: Why?
Dad: So you won't get bored.
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!