You jokes
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
Memes
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
My son was thrown out of school for letting a schoolgirl wank him off.
"That's the third school this year..." I said to my son, "... Maybe teaching isn't for you."
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?
He shot a Ginger.
Why do you call a fat midget?
Jiggly Puff.
Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”
And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.