You jokes

What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.

What you breathe in is called oxygen, otherwise known as, "African food".

How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?

Turn on the gas chamber.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.

What do you call a communist pirate ship?

The USS Arrrrr.

If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.

The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.

The French salute starts with your hands in the air.

The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.

What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?

A "glad-he-ate-her".

Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"

Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"

The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"

Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."

The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."

What do you call a cow with no toes?

Lac-toes intolerant.

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody nose.

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.

Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.

What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.

What do you call a fat Chinese man?

A double chinkey.

Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!