You jokes
Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."
Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until they go home.
Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jack undressed, and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. But stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
You know Bofa? Bofa deez nuts.
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?
A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
"I will Always Love You!"
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Just cut the rope.
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
My girlfriend is like treasure to me.
You need a shovel to find her.
Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...