You jokes
How do you fit 3 gay guys on a barstool? Flip it upside down.
Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."
Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"
Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
You know Bofa? Bofa deez nuts.
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
Memes
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)
My girlfriend is like treasure to me.
You need a shovel to find her.
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?
A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Just cut the rope.
"I will Always Love You!"
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What do you call an orphan when there 18?
Homeless.
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.