You jokes
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
JFK: Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
What do you call a fat Chinese man?
A double chinkey.
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.
If you know, you know. 😏😏
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Me time.
Yah, hurtful towards you. Bro took it personally, literally.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
Yo mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys, you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.
You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.