You jokes
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
How do you stop a woman from choking?
Back up an inch.
Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.
Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who were struggling to have sex? They kept doing the 96 positions.
What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.
Yaaaass
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
Q: What do you call a blind German man?
Q: A not-see (Nazi).
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
What do you call an Asian Chihuahua?
A Konichiuahua.
I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents at first."
How do you make a sad person jump?
A bridge.
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we look through.
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉