You jokes
Why do you call a priest a father? Because calling them daddy would be too sus.
Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.
What do you tell a depressed person?
Just hang in there!
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
what do you call a group of emos?... The Suicide Squad.
What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?
You get PRICKrolled.
You know why emos get excited playing Minecraft? They see a creeper.
How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
Why did you go depressed?
Because you’re you.
You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.