You jokes
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
Why did you go depressed?
Because you’re you.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
Memes
You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lion 🦁.
Lion who?
Lion again, aren't you?
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.
Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!