You jokes
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!
Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
Are you my depression, because I’m falling for you?
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut, you fucking racist.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
what do you call a flat road named after George Floyd?
Flat neck road.
Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.
The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"
The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"
The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)
-> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.
Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.
Like if you love food!