You jokes

Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.

Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉

What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?

Lesbionage.

What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.

You look good with anything, but nothing works too.

What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?

A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through something so small?"

What do you call a homeless Hitler?

A roofless dictator.

Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?

A: The Blackhole.

I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents at first."

How do you make a sad person jump?

A bridge.

Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!

Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.

I said, "a smile."

They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.

My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.

Going to school is mandatory in this country.

Can you guess my plan?

What do you call an Asian Chihuahua?

A Konichiuahua.

Why was the T-rex so angry? You would be angry too if your arms were too short to masturbate.

What do you call a smart blonde?

Nonexistent.

Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.

Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.

What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...

Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."

What do you call a spice with a PHD?

Dr. Pepper