You jokes
If you really think about it, every market in Africa is a black market.
I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?
Are you my depression, because I’m falling for you?
Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"
Me: "To reduce the population by one."
Memes
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).
Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.
Why was the T-rex so angry? You would be angry too if your arms were too short to masturbate.
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
what do you call a group of emos?... The Suicide Squad.
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.