You jokes

What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?

An orphan.

What do you call a house with dog hair?

A shed.

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!

I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!

You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.

What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?

"Drop it, Jamal!"

Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.

You look like the 0.01 percent of bacteria the Lysol didn't kill.

Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.

If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?

The dark.

What do you call a selfie that is taken by an orphan?

Answer: A family photo.

I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"

What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?

You get PRICKrolled.

How do you spell ihop?

Then spell ihop and say "ness".

How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.

You know why emos get excited playing Minecraft? They see a creeper.