You jokes

You want to hear a rape joke? Yeah. Damn you ruined it.

What do you call a guy from India calling you?

A scammer.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.

What do you call a banana eating a banana?

Canabananalism.

Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?

A: Retired Farming Machinery.

I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...

What flour do you give an orphan?

Self-raising.

Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.

Kid: "What's dark humor?"

Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."

Kid: "I am blind, Mom."

Mom: "Exactly."

What do you call a spaceman’s willy?

A Shuttlecock!

"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"

"Ok."

"What town did you grow up in?"

"Oral."

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!

Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.

doctor: you need to eat healthy.

me: no.

doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.

me: oh my goodness.

doctor: in a plane crash.

me: that sounds unrelated.

doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!

Papyrus ran headfirst into a windmill. Guess you can call him a bonehead.

Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"

How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.

You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.

When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.