You jokes
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.
I was studying in Turin, and my professor told me I had to use PENS only.
I looked in my bag for pens, and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you, Penaldo!
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
Memes
I would roast you but you're already so hot.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you ♥️.
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.
Biden: *falls over on steps*
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.
What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
You want to hear a rape joke? Yeah. Damn you ruined it.
What do you call a guy from India calling you?
A scammer.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...