You jokes
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?
Caregiver.
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
What do you call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?
Wrong.
"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.
_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."
"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.
THIS IS A RHYME
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.
Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,
and they had a little fun.
Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.
No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
How do you make a plumber sad?
Kill his family.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"