You jokes
"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.
_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
Memes
Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.
THIS IS A RHYME
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.
Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,
and they had a little fun.
Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.
No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
How do you make a plumber sad?
Kill his family.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
To be the perfect German, you need to be as thin as Göring, as tall as Goebbels, and as blonde as Hitler.
Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.
A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."
God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.