You jokes

How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Stop and apply lubrication.

What did the little boy say to the fat man?

How many Japs did you get?

*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."

Person 2: "Probably Bullets."

Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"

Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."

Person 1: "...."

Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."

One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"

Mom: "No you can't..."

Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"

lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.

Why shouldn’t you play basketball with a pig?

Because he’s a ball hog.

What do you call a private nun?

Nun-o-yo-business.

What did the cake say to the fork?

"Do you want a piece of me!!!"

What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?

Mash potato.

What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?

Caregiver.

What would you find on a haunted beach?

A sand-witch!

"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"

What do you call a Trump Supporter?

A piece of $hit!

Teacher: What does a pig give you?

Little Johnny: Bacon.

Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

Little Johnny: Wool.

Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".

How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.

What do you call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?

Wrong.

"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.

_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."

How do you know when a football player has been to jail?

When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.

If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.

Double!

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

Triple!

Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"

Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.