You jokes

Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.

Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?

He won a no-bell prize.

What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.

Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.

A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.

Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.

Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?

A: He rapes D minor.

you.

When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂

A priest walks into a wine store.

"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh, you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."

Location is in London by the way.

One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.

His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"

Why did God make men?

Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn...

Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?

Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.

Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.

Never attempt to foreshadow your own death, you may end up regretting it. You can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if I’m wrong.

A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Stop and apply lubrication.

What did the little boy say to the fat man?

How many Japs did you get?

Why shouldn’t you play basketball with a pig?

Because he’s a ball hog.

One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"

Mom: "No you can't..."

Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"

lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.

What do you call a private nun?

Nun-o-yo-business.

What did the cake say to the fork?

"Do you want a piece of me!!!"