You jokes

What did the little boy say to the fat man?

How many Japs did you get?

What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.

Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.

"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.

_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."

THIS IS A RHYME

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.

Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,

and they had a little fun.

Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.

*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."

Person 2: "Probably Bullets."

Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"

Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."

Person 1: "...."

Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."

What do you call a blind German?

A not see.

How do you make a plumber sad?

Kill his family.

What do you call a private nun?

Nun-o-yo-business.

What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?

Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.

What do you call an angry Texan?

A Confederate leader.

If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.

Double!

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

Triple!

Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.

What do you call a midget with autism?

A weetard.

Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"

Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.

One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"

Mom: "No you can't..."

Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"

lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.

A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."

God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."

Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.