You jokes

What place can you always find suicidal cows at?

"McDonald's."

What do you call a skeleton with no friends? Bonely.

Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))

And slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^_^

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?

Nut in the butt.

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.

if you throw it hard enough.

Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.

What do you call a kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.

I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?

Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.

You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.

Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.

Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."

Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.

When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."

What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?

Tropical depressions.

What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage? They got sued for littering.

Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.

Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.

What do you call a Muslim sleepover?

Osamas in Pajamas.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?

A byebyesexual.