You jokes
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
You nail its other hand to the ground.
What do you call a grown-up orphan? Homeless.
How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?
Mike said: I don’t know, what?
Jon said: Kinder surprise.
Me: Your ugly...
Person: I'm not your mirror...
Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. But why did seven eat nine? Because seven knew you had to have three squared meals a day.
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.
How do you name a disabled Asian?
Throw the wheelchair down the stairs.
I nailed my sister's... picture on the wall.
You dirty-minded bastard!