You jokes
You would think catholic churches would be in favor of condoms: less DNA evidence.
Have you heard of bees? They're bee-utiful!
What do you get when you cross a rapper with a snowman?
FROSTY RHYMES!
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
What's the difference between parking a car and finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody finds out.
What is a doe called with no legs?
•" No legged deer."
What do you call a deer with no ears?
•" No eared deer."
What do you call a deer with no eye?
•" No eye deer."
XDDDDDD
Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo into you?
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.
How do you affirm a trans woman's gender?
By kicking him hard in the balls.
What do you call a kid going fast on a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker?
Hop in!
I ass big ass you :-)
What did the toaster say to the piece of bread? "I want you inside me."
When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"
What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?
Tourists.
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
Wanna hear the car joke?
Nah, it's too fast for you.