You jokes
It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.
THIS IS A RHYME
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.
Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,
and they had a little fun.
Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
How do you make a plumber sad?
Kill his family.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
To be the perfect German, you need to be as thin as Göring, as tall as Goebbels, and as blonde as Hitler.
What do you call a plane with no wings? Sally.
A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."
Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.
God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.
The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."
The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”
“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”
Guess what song this is from:
"I'll cut you into little bitty pieces,
Or freeze you till your blood runs cold,
Or stab your till' you heart stops pumping.
I'm here to realize your wish from what I'm told."
How do you fit a baby into a shoebox?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Tortilla chips.