You jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.
You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
Memes
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
a family photo.
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
Answer: A bath bomb.
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away...
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.... 🥵🤣
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: The highway.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.