You jokes
Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!
Orphan: You will?
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?
"Drop it, Jamal!"
Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.
what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
a family photo.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
Answer: A bath bomb.
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
I would roast you, but the mirrors do when you look at them.
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.