You jokes
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"
What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? An avalanche.
What about Mexicans you may ask? A mudslide.
What about black people running down a hill?? A jailbreak.
What do you call a Dino stripper?
A dinowhore.
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
Are you a bowling ball? Because I want to stick 3 fingers in you.
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.
How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.