What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
What did the suicidal leperchaun say Irish i was dead
What is a Irish đ đ kiss đ a blowjob from a gay Irishman
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
An Irish guy walks out of a bar....
What do you ca an Irish man that breaks up fights? Liam Malone
An Irish man walks out of a bar. It can happen.
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory, and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work.
Paddy agrees to tell Seamus' wife the bad news. He knocks on the door, and Seamus' wife answers. "What's happened, Paddy?" Paddy frowns. "I'm sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, I'm so sorry." She started to cry and asked Paddy: "Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, "No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.
So a Irish man is walking his poodle and his buddy comes running up to him saying thereâs a new pub in town and theyâre giving out free pints. So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says sorry you canât go in. The Irish man says why canât I go in? Well you have a dog sir and that sign over there says no dogs aloud your going to have to leave him outside. Well the Irish man thinks quick and says. Iâm blind itâs a seeing eye dog. The owner says thatâs ridiculous a seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that. The Irish man says well what kind of dog did they give me??đ
What the difference between an Irish wedding and a Irish funeral, one less drunk.
One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted.
The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing."
"What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun.
"Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.
Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gunna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like â re reâ and your like â re re â yourself motherf*ucker and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SUPRIZE the psychoâs IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
a bat
I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?
Paddy and Murphy are walking down street, when all of a sudden Paddy falls down a manhole, Murphy shouts down "Paddy is it dark down there". Paddy shouts up "dunno Murphy I crnt see a fecking thing"
Why do catholic Irishman in Ireland have a glory hole in the men's restroom inside their restaurants so they can give Irish kisses on Saints Patrick's Day
Yesterday on the school bus my freind infront of me said she was 41% irish and 15% Mexican then my freind siting next to me said âwow almost half leprechaunâ then I said âyeah and 15 percent wall climberâ
Two nuns walk into a liquor store and one asked the clerk for the biggest bottle of Irish whisky he had. The clerk replied "Heck no sister, you nuns and aren't supposed to drink that stuff!" The nun said, "Well my son it is not for us you see, it is for Mother Teresa," then the nun whispers, "She has the constipation." The clerk said "Oh, in that case, it's on the house. Here's the biggest jug we have." The nuns thank him, bless him, and leave. A few hours later, as the clerk is leaving, he sees the same two sisters in the parking lot, rolling around and drinking the Irish whiskey. Appalled he goes over to them and says, "You ladies lied to me! You told me it was for Mother Teresa for her constipation!" One of the nuns takes another swig, looks up at him and says "You wanna know something buddy? She sure will shit when she sees us!
How many beans are there in Irish Chili?? A: 239 Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine? A: ( spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more it'd be two farty. ..lol
