Irish jokes
What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
An Irish guy walks out of a bar....
An Irish man walks out of a bar. It can happen.
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
What is a Irish 💋 😗 kiss 💋 a blowjob from a gay Irishman
What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?
Liam Malone.
Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gonna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘re re‘ and you're like ‘re re’ yourself, motherfucker, and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SURPRISE, the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!
What do you call an Irish person having a seizure? A Shamrock Shake.
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
A bat.
The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.
Read my name. 👍🇮🇪
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
"Luck of the Irish my ass, I just blew a tranny and an engine in my truck both in the same week... Boy it really ruined my day when they found out about each other."
Why do Catholic Irishmen in Ireland have a glory hole in the men's restroom inside their restaurants so they can give Irish kisses on Saint Patrick's Day?
Yo mama so Irish that she thought the Chicago Shamrox were a Quadball team.
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
Yesterday on the school bus my friend in front of me said she was 41% Irish and 15% Mexican.
Then my friend sitting next to me said, “Wow, almost half leprechaun!”
Then I said, “Yeah, and 15 percent wall climber!”
Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"
Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"