You jokes

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

When you slap the mosquito, it stops sucking.

I was at a supermarket in Barcelona and I noticed the alarm had gone off. There was a thief at the store; the tea bag section had been ransacked.

Luckily they found the thief, Pionel Pessi, with boxes of his favourite tea, Penaltea. Shame on you, Pessi!

This is not a joke, it's a warning!

You guys are stupid. I am an orphan, and you better stop doing these. BTW, if you are an orphan, put it in the comments and say that it's not funny!

How do you know if a woman that is poor who is between 18-24 years old is poor enough to do anything for money to help pay her bills? She would be working as a lesbian prostitute inside a lesbian hotel in San Francisco, CA.

What does a Hufflepuff wolf say? “I will huffle and puff, and blow your house down!”

That is related to Harry Potter 🧙🏼‍♂️.

Roses are red, violets are blue, all these orphan jokes have ruined this site. Fuck you!

You know why Hitler wouldn’t drink whisky? Because it made him angry.

Did you hear about the emo kid who auditioned for the school play?

He made the cut.

What do you call an autistic kid if he was short?

A short tistic.

What do you call a woman with magical abilities and an android? Wanda Maximoff and Vision! Or.... Scarlet Witch and Vision! This joke was added to celebrate and honour Marvel Studios' new series: WandaVision!

What time is it when you need to go to the toilet?

Two-ply!

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Student: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Student: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Student: "Homework!"

What do you call a man with no toes?

No Toe Joe.

My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D

Dumb kid: What does homework mean?

Teacher: J0K35? (J0K35 is me btw) can you explain to DK what homework means, please?

Me:

"Half Of My Existence Wasted On Random Knowledge"

This boy said, "Get your hairline straight." I said, "Girls don't have a hairline. How about you go to the barber shop and let your barber do your hair 10 times worse than he did the first time."

Your Mom tells you to take out the trash, and the next day the Police are asking if you bombed the School.

I'm going to your mom's house. Can you help me, planet?

How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!

What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?

A criminal! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃