You jokes

You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!

A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"

I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."

Bootylicious lol

My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"

Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!

Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?

You wanna talk Kenya ;)

tbh, I was not even talking to you guys. I was talking to the funny jokes about Ariana, and people were saying she was adopted, so, tbh, fuck off!

What do you call six gay people in a war? Rainbow Six Siege.

Why does Africa have no pharmacies? Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.

An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.

"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.

A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.

After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.

And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"

God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, it's really no wonder your mama left you!

What do you call an unemployed Rastafarian?

Jah Bless.

Friend, you're bold and fat.

Me: Bro, go to the bathroom and look at the mirror. You will probably break it.

What do you call an orphan village?

An orphanage.

What did the feather say to his wife?

You light my day.

My mom told me to clean the sink, but I couldn’t find you.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I see you, I throw up.

Have you heard about the kidnapping at the goat farm?

This joke is kinda offensive, but here you go.

What’s the longest joke of the year? Pride month.