Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏
You Jokes
What do you say when your pet pig gets lost?
This is a pig problem!
Did you hear about the guy that posts all of the "Hairline Jokes"?
Answer: Yeah, he's a COMPLETE IDIOT!
Are you gay? Yeah, because I loved you.
Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar? He ordered everyone around.
What do you call an orphan's family portrait?
A selfie.
Did you hear about the guy who made the knock-knock joke? I heard he got the Nobel Prize.
What did the ankle say to the doorman?
You are a nonsense.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheeles.
Did you know that ASL is a dead language?
Yeah, nobody speaks it.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam foot got caught in the door, can you please open it!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Me: I must have a mirror in my jeans, 'cause I see you in my pants.
Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.
He also forgot to pay the power bill.
If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.
Knock knock. Who's there? You... You who? You smell like shit!
What happens when you throw water on Stephen Hawking?
He says, "Oh fuck fuck fuck!"
What do you call a fish with no legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Break!
Imperial Pilot: What do you think about the new Tie fighter?
Palpatine: Flew it.
How do you make holy water?
You take it to church ⛪️
Bully: You are a piece of shit.
Person: No, I'm not a piece, and I'm not brown... so no, honey.