You jokes

If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.

"Back To The Future"-Doc: You can time travel to anytime in HISTORY, Marty, but NEVER go to the year 2021.....

What do you call the original immigrants to the British Isles?

Anglosaxon.

Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?

You: Yeah, but why so many people?

Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.

You: Dude!!!!

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

Why you never have to give a balloon to Elsa?

Because she will let it goooooooooooooooo let it goooo!

Q: How do you get 50 babies in a bucket?

A: With a blender!

Q: How do you take them out?

A: With Doritos!

I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

Leaving for Disneyland! See you guys on Tuesday!

Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.

Tj if you don't stop trying to ruin Gwen and Prince's relationship then I will scream!!!!!!!!!!

It's some dumb faker and what point of she just wants to be your friend do not understand!

"Prince? Are you still there?"

How do you organize a rave party in Ethiopia? Just put some bread on the ceiling.

Q: What do you get from a two-legged cow? A: Lean beef.

I am sooooooo bored, Gwen, can you please get on, or anybody, since I'm weirdly obsessed with Gwen.

You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.

I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."

My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.