You jokes
What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!
Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?
Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!
Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!
Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???
Me: Yea
Did you know that if you go into an orphanage and tell them a "yo mama" joke, they won’t get it?
What do you call a fucked up mullet? A fullet.
Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!
"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."
Love y'all so much!
Memes
New Windex ad:
You should get Windex for that dirty mind!
A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.
"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."
"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
Die you potato.
I baked you a pie.
Oh boy, which flavor?
Pie Pie Pie Pie.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Why did you name this way?
Why Why Why?
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!
Yo mama is so dumb, her reflection said, "Who are you?"
If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).
Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?
Jm: Excujjimi?
Jk: No offense, Jim.
Jm: Yah, call me hyung!
Jk: But I'm bigger.
Jm: I'm older!
Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.
Jm:......
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?
Josef Vasicek.
Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.
Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.
Why is it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?
The damages are severe.