Model jokes
Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model...
I have a Twin Towers model in my room.
It got infested with jumping spiders.
Katie Price's answer for everything is darkness.
She isn't a dull person, but playing eye spy with my little eye with Harvey is just way too easy.
I finally got a girlfriend.
Her name is Remington Model 32.
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?
A 797.
A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.
"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.
"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."
The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"
She said, "Not everybody paid."
Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.
[God creating Asians] “Alright, and the design is finished, see our new model, the Asian. It has no hair at all.”
Angel asks, “Does it eat normal food?”
God replies, “(chuckling) Oh no, not at all.”
Yo mama so fat, the Egyptians modeled the pyramids based on her.
A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him. Everyone else in the room stops to listen:
Man: Hello? Woman: Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman: I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man: How much? Woman: $90,000. Man: Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man: I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman: OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man: I love you to.
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
The man turns around and says: “Anyone know whose phone this is?”
Friday's opening is open. Religion: "Dark model?" Hopi, Kahan, Virra, Sayla, Salafa, Sales, Power, Sleep. Google is “that cave”.
Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.
I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!
What is an orphan's role model?
Batman.
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."
I'm a Model. My doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram.
(Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts
What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?
They both be fucking sugar daddies.
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.