You jokes
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
Memes
"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."
"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
911.
911 who?
You said you would never forget.
What’s the difference between 9/11 and a dead cow?
You can’t milk a dead cow for 20 years.
Me: What do you call an orphan?
Friend: Homeless.
Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭
Q: What do you call a person with Down's syndrome who smokes weed?
A: Baked potato.
Bro, you were born in a local 7-Eleven bathroom.
The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!
How do you make an emo jump?
A bridge.
What do you call a pig that does Karate?
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
You heard of the Pixar movie "Up," but have you heard of "Down, Down," the 9/11 terrorist attack?
What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?
The Twin Towers.