You jokes

Guy

Random guy: Do you know Dee?

Other dude: Who’s Dee?

Random guy: Dee Snuts!

Osama

Hello people, my name is Osama.

I'm back from the dead and I want to blow you.

Train

What do you call a train that carries bubblegum?

Chew-chew train! Hee hee!

Memes

Marriage

Woman: Will you love me after marriage as well?

Man: That will depend on your husband. If he will, so of course I would!

Crew

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned!

Promise

What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?

Answer: A promise.

Mother

Dad: Alive.

Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).

Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.

Mother: Alive...

Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.

Company

Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.

Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.

Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.

Amber: Fine!!!!!

Chat

OK, I hear the chat since you can't email for whatever reason.

Nut

My nuts hurt; if you pull them, I will scream.

My nuts tickle; scratch them, and I won’t like you no more.

Pickle

Guy: Do you want a nickel?

Girl: Sure.

Guy: So you’ll tickle my pickle?

Girl: 😳😩😩😩

Ticket

Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.