Scaredy cat jokes

Why didn’t the cat cross the road?

Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.

I have two things I wanna say:

1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.

2. wtf

Hi Alex, it's 2:00 Easter time. Freshfry is a scaredy-cat. He left when you left, lol.

Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."

A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?”

He responded with, “The cat is dead.”

She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you have broken the news slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor thing's dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?”

“She’s playing on the roof.”

Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?

Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."

God creating cats.

GOD: Make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of.

ANGEL: Ok.......................................anything else?

GOD: YES, PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!

How do you pet a psychopath's cat?

You get it out of the microwave.