You jokes
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
Why did they put the Petronas towers? Eh, you do you.
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
You know, it takes a lot of balls to successfully compete in women’s sports as a man.
What do you call a lion as a baby?
Cocota
What do you call a man in love with an emo?
I really don't know.
Your hairline is so bad people thought you were Vegeta!
I thought you were just raising your eyebrow, but I checked the x-ray, and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right.
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
What's the difference between you and your sister?
Your dad.
I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.
Peter: Curses!
Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Peter: *Crying*
Jacob: Why are you crying?
Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*
What do you call a house with no one living inside?
An orphan house.
Anyone want a free pizza? Because you liking a pizza with toppings that not many people enjoy allows you to eat the entire guilt free pizza, that they said they didn't want and everyone already offered you a slice of.
There was a kid sitting in a corner.
Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"
Orphan: "..."
Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
QoS.
QoS who?
QoS there me me who me and you.
Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair?
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.