You jokes

Straight

My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.

Freedom

Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.

Hitla: That's exactly what I said.

Memes

Difference

P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?

P2: I don't know.

P1: Wow, you sick fuck!

Ugliness

You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

Emo kid

Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.

Milk

Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅

Vegetable

If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.

If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.

Friend

What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.

Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?

Orphanage

Bully: How is your girlfriend?

Me: I don't have one!

Bully: I know!

Me: How are your parents?

*Walks out of orphanage*

Relationship

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.