You're so ugly, even the Twin Towers got a better upgrade than you!
You Jokes
He’s so short no one can see you very close by.
You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
I’d give you a nasty look, but you already have one, bummer!
"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
What do you call a router in a thong?
CISCO....(that thong thong thong thong!)
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(
Did you know why they added Alexa for Stephen Hawking?
Knock knock. Who's there? Knock knock. Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.
Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
Are you Google?
Because you got all I am searching for.
I'll call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.
What do you call a green camel?
My parents left me.
You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!