You jokes
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory?
Unfortunately, many soles were lost.
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
Why can't you be gay and in a wheelchair?
Because you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?
Tourists.
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.