Yet jokes
What did one plane say to the other?
"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."
Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"
A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off. He looks at his son and says, "I didn't know back to school sales started yet."
In the realm of the mind, Where thoughts wander undefined, This sentence emerges, unconfined, A whimsical phrase, quite inclined.
It dances freely, unrestrained, No structure, no rules, it's unchained, A playful verse, with words unfeigned, The first to surface, unrestrained.
It holds no grandeur, nor deep insight, Just a simple thought, taking flight, A fleeting notion, shining bright, In the realm of words, it feels right.
This sentence, unburdened and free, Plays with language, wild and carefree, A tiny poem, as small as can be, Yet it speaks volumes, silently.
So let it wander, let it roam, Across the page, it finds a home, Unfettered by rhythm, it freely roams, This sentence, the first, stands alone.
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
Chuck Norris hasn’t decided yet when Jimmy Hoffa can come out.
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?
We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.
Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?
What's the difference between Elton John and rapboat?
Elton is talented, rich, and openly gay. Rapboat got fuck all talent, no money, and is not out of the closet yet.
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.
Then it hit me.
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
Why haven't they put Stephen Hawking in charge yet?
I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"
He started crying.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.