Yet

Yet jokes

Male

  • I'm just gonna say it, and don't get offended, but I'm so sick of the media being on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male.

    Yes, women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth, etc.

    But men have it pretty hard too, if not harder. Males are criticized for showing emotions.

    Men have to go to war on the front lines.

    Boys have less support from their friends because showing any emotion is a sign of weakness.

    Boys have to wear trousers in schools where they practically burn to death in summer, meanwhile girls get to wear dresses and skirts. And now we hear girls complaining about them not being allowed to wear trousers. Yet we haven't ever heard anything about boys protesting about wearing shorts to school. It's because no one will take a man's protest seriously because the media is always against the men.

    Man-rape is unheard of in the media, and I've never seen anything in any form of news accusing a woman as a rapist.

    We are expected to gather up our guts [and] ask a girl to be their girlfriend. We have to take them on dates, pay the bill, [and] buy them gifts when the girls never do anything like that for us males. We have to get a job while they put on makeup and go out with their friends and spend 3 months' worth of the money the man has made.

    And the women say we only rape women and that we restrict women from doing certain things like fighting in world wars.

    It's because most males do not want females to get hurt, yet we are criticized for this.

    I propose an idea that on the 19th of September every year (until we get the point across) all males do not go to work, etc.

    Who's going to put out all the fires? The two "firewomen" at the local fire station? Who is going to work in the major corporations? The secretary's and the receptionist?

    Women are always saying that the world will be a better place if they're are no men around. Let's show them how wrong they are.

    (This event can be done worldwide.)

    Share this with as many people who still believe in the rights of the males.

    (I'm not against feminism; it's just that everything in the media is about some stupid problem women are complaining about + hatred for males everywhere.

    But I think that nowadays women have more rights than men because they can wear what they want, do what they want, and never get criticized or face any consequences.)

    Morgue

  • Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?

    Doctor: The morgue.

    Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!

    Doctor: And we're not there yet!

  • 1
  • Depression

  • Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...

    Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)

    AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]

  • 2
  • Love

  • Joshua White loves blue, A simple truth, tried and true. In his pocket, only six, Yet each penny a valued fix.

    With eyes that seek the azure skies, He dreams of places that mesmerize. A palette of blues, a symphony of hues, Whispering secrets only he can choose.

    His heart beats to the rhythm of the sea, Where waves crash, wild and free. In sandy shores, he finds solace rare, A momentary escape from life's daily wear.

    In cerulean fields, flowers dance, Their vibrant petals, a timeless romance. He wanders through meadows, devoid of strife, Seeking solace in nature's vibrant life.

    Joshua White, a soul of gentle grace, Embracing the world at his own pace. Though his pockets hold a mere six, His spirit soars, never to be fixed.

    For in the depths of his azure dreams, The richness of life's tapestry gleams. And with every breath, he finds anew, That love is boundless, ever true.

  • 1
  • Covid19

  • Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...

    Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...

  • 1
  • Egg

  • - I think you're EGGcellent.

    + Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.

    - Really? Are you done yet?.

    + Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.

  • 1
  • Bunny

  • A man walks over to a little boy and asks, "Wanna see my tattoo of a bunny?"

    The little boy replies with, "Yes please, I love bunnies!"

    The man proceeds to pull his pants down and said, "Can you see it yet?"

    The little boy curious says, "No, where is it?"

    The man says, "Dig a little deeper, he runs into the hole when he gets scared!"

  • 3
  • Pain

  • A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.

    He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.

  • 0
  • Graveyard

  • My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.

    He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"

    Baby

  • Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?

    That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.

  • 0