Why was Mrs. Claus upset? Because Santa only cums once a year
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle? Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger"
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake but it ended up fulfilling the 5 year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
My dad went to go get milk, he came back 7 years later and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk
In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last
A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven year olds. The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says yay i i got me a full house.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in Jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10 year olds
One day a boy asks his grandfather for some money, and the grandpa says “well can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy replied “no”. So the grandpa says “okay.” And leaves it at that and walks off. A few years later the boy asks his grandfather for some money again and his grandfather once again asks “can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy proudly says “yes it can.” To which the grandpa says “good, now go fuck yourself.”
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her
My dad told me that his dreams were shatterd a few years ago
Then i asked him how many years ago
He replied with ”when were you born?”
What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god my mom's gonna kill me!"
Guy: My life is like a game, I should end it.
Guy 2: Is it a hard life?
Guy: Yup
Guy 2: Then you can't kill yourself LOL
Guy 3: Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the "game"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.
What do you call a 100-year-old frog? An old croak!
The mirror says: if you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck.
The Magic Jewel says: if you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck.
The condom just sitting there laughing.
Mom: you need to grow up. your so immature
Me: *glares* get out of my castle ....
Mom: it's a pillow fort
Me: why cant i have an imagination!?
Mom: your almost 19 years old
Me: not good enough ... OUT!
So I was f*****g this b***h right, and I thought I had aides. So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get aides. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight year old get aides?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
