A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed- He wakes up under it...
one day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy then they heard a sound from the bushes, instead of looking down they both ran.
two years later they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial they asked him if he has ever been caught he said "No but a couple was walking as soon as i killed a girl i jumped into a bush they didnt know i was there but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down then he and his girlfriend ran."
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old ladies house...
Oh my! Goodness sakes child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both
My dad and I have been playing hide and seek. It's been 15 years and I still haven't found him.
me as a 5-year-old: how do you relate to the twin towers friend : what me: everytime I thing of them I feel sad
small word of advice:Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love cuz they may be gone by then, you don't realize but every second there is someone who dies and it just could be your loved one.
My crush rejected me 2 years ago and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me
What do you call a 17 year old orphan? Homeless
you telling me Julius Ceaser, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends
What Costco food is associated with Michael Joseph Jackson? The Jackson dog. It's 49 year old saussge between 6 year old buns.
I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years". I walked away shocked but not surprised
This year I'm going to name my Christmas Tree , Amy Winehouse , because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room
Last year, got kicked out of the Hospital for telling covid patients to stay positive
Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie? because it was rated RRRRGGGG
i am guessing u dont understand :(
i remember last year all these biches called me lame so i stoped the simping and pretended i was gay, now i think theyre all fucking with me. im an L G B T Q imposter got cut last year know ive made the roster and you may think im a monester. im just just tryna see some titties.
I'm 17 right, anyways the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago but they still haven't told the joke yet.
My 3 year old sister kept saying i like your cut g everytime she does i dodge and close my eyes but she's the one who always end up running
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
