Year jokes
Yo mama so fat, it took the Flash 40 years to run around her.
What will you call Burj Khalifa after 100 years?
"Bujurg" Khalifa. (Just a joke)
Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girl’s skirt.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her
A reincarnated and heavily modified T-Rex is something that's been on my drawing board for years
One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."
A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"
Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."
Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"
I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy, was my wife mad. She yelled "HOW CAN YOU F*** OUR DAUGHTER?!". Haha, yeah, she was mad.
Anyways, that's why your mother and I are getting a divorce, Timmy.
I had the worst day of my life. My 13 year old ex got killed and I got fired from my job as a police guard. Did I mention that we were in Syria?
Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70-year-old.
A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.
My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.
He can tell the future.
A guy once went hunting at a hunting ranch. After a long day of hunting, the hunter enjoys a couple of cold ones in the rancher’s living room. There they were having a grand ole time then the rancher’s wife walks in. The hunter says, “That’s a nice piece of ass you got yourself there.” The rancher replied with a harsh, raspy Southern chuckle from years of Marlboro Reds, “You’ve never been so right in your life. Honey, why don’t you show our guest your tits?” She agrees and shows the hunter her plump DD cup breasts.
The hunter says, “Nice.” Then the rancher said, “Show ‘em yer pecker now.” She agreed and whipped out a 13 incher. Dazed and confused, the hunter says, “What in Sam Hill is that?!” And the rancher replied, “Now... lemme tell you... there ain’t a thing like it.”
What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...
You get to meet Chris Hansen!
Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.
“Hey, you!" said the man. “Did you see a boar run past?"
“Yes," replied Hodja.
“Which way did it go?" demanded the man.
Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.
The man rode away without a word of thanks, but he was back within minutes.
“No sign of it!" he said. “Are you sure it went that way?"
“I am certain," replied Hodja. “It went that way. Two years ago."
An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"
The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."
The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"
The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"
quizlet.com/211392116/nc-math-2-honors-end-of-year-test-study-guide-flash-cards/
I finally got my wife to shut up.
Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years, ha! Try telling me to get my feet off the couch now, Karen!
A 60-year-old man is walking along a deserted road with a 12-year-old boy. It’s getting dark, and the boy says, “Hey mister, it’s getting dark and I’m scared.”
The man replies, “You’re scared? I’ve got to walk back to town alone!”
Why did Chad date the 9 yr old?
Because Stellas hot.
What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.