Writing jokes

These jokes crash and burn.

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.

I don't know what to write here, just like...

This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭

I wrote a song about tortillas...

Actually, it's more of a wrap.

I wrote a song about a tortilla yesterday, but it’s actually more of a rap.

How does a computer spell "Autocorrect"?

I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.

It's supposed to say "goes," not "goes."

"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."

"What type of book is it?"

"An autobiography."

Spell "I cup."

I C U P

What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?

You can pop their head off.

The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.

He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.

M to de B, m to de B = master bate.

Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?

Like this.

I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."

My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”

“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”

Did you know the past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared?

Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?

Because he didn't have a pen to write with.