Past Tense jokes

What were the emo kid's pronouns?

Was/were.

Did you know the past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared?

What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.

I broke up with my girlfriend, so I stole her wheelchair, and guess who came crawling back.

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.

I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.