Writing jokes

Your forehead is so big, I can write an essay on it.

Do you want to hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?

That's okay. There is really no point to it.

A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,

"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."

abcdef ghijklmnop qrstuv.

I'm a big fan of white boards; they're remarkable.

I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.

I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.

What do you call a whiteboard that is dirty?

A dirty whiteboard.

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.

My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."

People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol.

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

Letter A lmao xd 😂😂😂😂

The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.

I was going to write a joke about my penis, but it was too lång and overused.

I’m working on a good pun, but it makes no one laugh.

Why?

I don’t have a clue.

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.

I’m friends with 25 letters. I don’t know y!

What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.

Friend 1: I HATE YOU!

Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!

Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*

Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.

All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*

What do pigs and ink have in common?

They both go in a pen.