Writing jokes

A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,

"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."

abcdef ghijklmnop qrstuv.

I'm a big fan of white boards; they're remarkable.

I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.

I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.

What do you call a whiteboard that is dirty?

A dirty whiteboard.

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.

My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."

People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol.

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

Letter A lmao xd 😂😂😂😂

The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.

I was going to write a joke about my penis, but it was too lång and overused.

I’m working on a good pun, but it makes no one laugh.

Why?

I don’t have a clue.

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.

I’m friends with 25 letters. I don’t know y!

What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.

Friend 1: I HATE YOU!

Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!

Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*

Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.

All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*

What do pigs and ink have in common?

They both go in a pen.

Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.

I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?

Why did Sally fail her final exam?

Because she had nothing written down.