Writing

Writing Jokes

Set up

I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.

Cancer

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.

My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."

People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol.

Pencil

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

Stephen Hawking

The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.

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  • Penis

    I was going to write a joke about my penis, but it was too lång and overused.

    Clue

    I’m working on a good pun, but it makes no one laugh.

    Why?

    I don’t have a clue.

    Contest

    I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.

    Spectrum

    What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.

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  • Friend

    Friend 1: I HATE YOU!

    Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!

    Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*

    Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.

    All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*

    Pen

    What do pigs and ink have in common?

    They both go in a pen.

    Pencil

    Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.

    Accident

    I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?

    Exam

    Why did Sally fail her final exam?

    Because she had nothing written down.

    Midget

    What do you call a Mexican midget?

    A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.

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  • Fan

    I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.