Work

Work jokes

Work memes

Loss

    • Your grandmother died because she fell on the highest floor of the hotel. Your grandfather died because he got shot while saving your mother. If he didn't save your mother, you wouldn't be here.

    You grew up in a world full of viruses. You wanted the virus to be gone. There's only one way, but you have to know it. I can't tell it for you.

    Your mother got Covid-19. You prayed and prayed all night, hoping that she would be okay. The next day, the doctors went to your house without your mother. You asked, "Where is my mother?!" The doctors said, "Your mother is gone, so we came here to tell you." The doctors left. Another hour, you were thinking while crying, "Why was my prayer not working? Lord, why'd you let me down?"

    You searched on Google "How to bring back the dead." The Google workers declined it. Your father left you because he loved another girl. Your brothers are still with you, but what if they get the virus? Who will be with you?

    Don't forget Jesus is still there for you. Don't give up, keep going, and you will succeed soon. You will find your own family and beat the coronavirus.

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    • Ice Cream machine

    • Little boy: Momma?

    Mom: Yes, my dear.

    Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.

    Mom: Why!?

    Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.

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    • Inspector

    • Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.

    Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.

    Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.

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    • Sister

    • I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"

    I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."

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    • Disco

    • What does a disabled disco play?

    "When your legs don’t work like they used to before."

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    • Dad

    • Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.

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    • Whip

    • Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.

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    • Pasta

    • I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.

    You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂

    Divorce

    • Why did I get a divorce, you ask? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't get me a present and didn't even wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my co-workers didn't wish me a happy birthday.

    As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" That moment, I felt so special. She then asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?"

    "Okay," I said.

    She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, and my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

    Alien

    • I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.

    I remarked, "You lazy!"

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