Wordplay jokes
Q: What do you call a pervert with no legs?
A: A creepy crawly.
Q: What do you call an angry, bullied Asian kid?
Shoo Ting.
What is Ba + 2Na?
Ans. Banana.
What is money called in space?
Star bucks.
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
What Did Iran Say To Oman?
"Oh man, I ran out of ideas!"
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
I just shed my pants.
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
Me: Hey Joe, updog.
Joe: What?
Me: Updog.
Joe: What's updog?
*Facepalms*
Me: Lol in the corner.
What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?
Eileen.
Krusty nut
Want to hear a joke about prostitution? Never mind, it's whoreable.
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!