New Won Jokes

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.

On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.

I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!

I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!

The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?

Because it is politically motivated.

What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?

I'm ta ping it, some ting won.

Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?

Because it's dead.

Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?

He won the no-Bell prize.

I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

👱‍♀️ 👱‍♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?

A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.

Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡

And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."

But John came fifth and won a toaster.

When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?

I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.

Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.

Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!