Won jokes

What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? "Tie won shu."

Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.

Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?

He won a no-bell prize.

And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

Why did the legless kid think he won a race?

Because everybody already left.

Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.

1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.