The 60+ Best Won Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead, I scratched it off and won a fucking ford focus!

Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.

The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.

"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the coroner.

"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"

"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.

"He thought he was having his picture taken."

And the lord said unto john come forth and you will receive eternal life, but john came fifth and won a toaster

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Once I went to watch a match in protugol it was between penaldo and his kids the Refree was Georgiana(his wife) mpaypal and igayspeed were also there the match begin and his kids scored 2 goals in first 10 minutes and during when match was about to end penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties his wife declined and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them ) but won 3-2. Shame on u penaldo 😡😡😡

I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him", so i couldn't do a fatality. I was confused but i understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. -- I now have $999,999.75.

Did you here about the person who invented the door knocker?

He won a no-bell prize.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why did the legless kid think he won a race?

Because everybody already left.

What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?

You cant beetah the cheetah

“Mum I just won this phone in a race!” “Who was in the race?” “The owner of the phone And the police I think they’re at the door to congratulate me!”

a hot dog and a banana had a race who won

the WIENER

I went to my sister room one day. I see a trophy, so I ask my sister how did you won this trophy my sister said to me the neighbors gave it to me because I gave out the best hand jobs in the neighbor. I guess my sister put her hands in good use.