Helium jokes

I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?

A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!

Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?

A: HeHe.

What kind of air does Ariana breathe?

Helium?

What is Michael Jackson's chemical? The HE-HE-lium.

Why is helium so expensive? It is due to inflation.

What does a doctor do to make you better?

Helium.

Hey John, how are you going?

Helium, yeah good, what about you?

(Hey Liam)

I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.

A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."

Wow, Heaven's a lot hotter than I thought it'd be.

I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH.

Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all his friends Argon.

It's said Duracell batteries are supposed to last 75 years, well Stephen, here you are.