Helium jokes

I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?

A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!

Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?

A: HeHe.

What kind of air does Ariana breathe?

Helium?

What is Michael Jackson's chemical? The HE-HE-lium.

Why is helium so expensive? It is due to inflation.

Hey John, how are you going?

Helium, yeah good, what about you?

(Hey Liam)

What does a doctor do to make you better?

Helium.

I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.