Women jokes

How are women like swimming pools?

They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.

90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.

Why are gay men better than straight women?

Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.

If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.

What has 2 arms but no legs?

A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.

97 percent of women...

Why did Catholic women stop going to church?

Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.

I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."

Your hairline is the reason why some women have miscarriages.

What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?

The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.

What takes 10 parking spaces? Five women.

What is the difference between men and women?

Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.

Me: What has two legs and bleeds?

Friend: Um, women? Obviously?

Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.

As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”

George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”

Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”

Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.

Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"

There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.

How do you know Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?

What do you call a crowd of horny white women?

Cotton waiting to be picked.

Why do women have two sets of lips?

I kiss both.