Women jokes
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
One hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.
Why did Catholic women stop going to church?
Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
I like my women like I like my scotch:
12 years old and mixed with coke.
I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!
Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.
I like my women how I like my bacon.
Well Dunn!!!
Women should be seen and not heard.
But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?
You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.
Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!
Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.
Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
Women have eggs and milk in them...
And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...
She couldn't do either!
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.