Women

Women jokes

Abortion

Abortion is a difficult topic for me.

One hand I support it because it kills children.

On the other hand, it gives women a choice.

History

Why are there more female history teachers than male?

Because women like to bring up the past.

Woman

What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?

They both come with a toy.

Michael Jackson

Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.

Canadian

Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!

Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.

Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.

What do women and pools have in common?

They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.

My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...

She couldn't do either!

My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.

She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,

"It didn't work out."

She told me to be more specific, so I said,

"I just told you, she didn't exercise."