Women jokes
What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?
Accountability.
Do you know why most men are impressive cooks?
Because with two eggs and a sausage, they can keep women full for 9 months.
The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.
What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?
Turkish.
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
Cops have the hardest job: they have to tell women they have the right to remain silent and know damn well she will not have the ability.
What is a woman's name with one leg?
Eileen.
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
What kind of motorcycle do women ride? A menstrual cycle.
What kind of bike do women ride?
A menstrual cycle.
How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.
Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?
Because they’ll get chapped lips.
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
On one hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.