Women jokes
What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.
Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.
What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.
What is the difference between my dad’s generation and my generation of women?
He had Wonder Woman, and I have to wonder if it’s a woman.
Why are hurricanes like women? Because they come into your life, take nearly everything, and leave.
What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?
Accountability.
Pro marriage tip: Let your wife know you’re all about women’s rights. There’s no reason she needs to talk that much; it’s not like replying to her is voice activated.
Pro marriage tip: Let your wife know you’re all about women’s rights, especially the right to remain silent, because all appliances should be silent.
History is mostly just a list of things men did while women were busy making sure they didn't die of scurvy.
What do guns and women have in common?
They both get cocked and loaded.
Okay, guys. Today we're gonna read the Women's Rights of 1920...
Okay, thanks for watching!
What do Arby's and black women have in common? They both have the meats.
"I'd love to give everyone another shot."
Harry, 26, works at the women's clinic.
Why do lesbians have the highest rate of domestic violence?
Because women are emotional and full of drama.
Want to hear a joke?
Women's Rights.
Why are modern women trash?
Because back in the day, a woman knew her place.
Women understand each other.
That’s why they argue.
What do women and appliances have in common?
If they don't work, hit them until they work.
What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?
Accountability.
Do you know why most men are impressive cooks?
Because with two eggs and a sausage, they can keep women full for 9 months.
The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.
What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?
Turkish.