Women jokes

No one. Beyoncé said "To the left, to the left!" She really meant women have no rights.

Neona: Gwen! I got the job!!!!!!!!!

Gwen: I knew it! I knew my prayer worked!

Neona: He said that all my ideas are the best and that I start on Monday!

Gwen: Man, don't you love Mr. Jaekson? He is the best person the company has ever had!

Neona: Who is Mr. Jaekson?

Gwen: Wait... Mr. Jaekson didn't interview you?

Neona: No! Mr. Smith did. He said he was standing.

Gwen: No, Mr. Smith, you are a fool who never lets you spread the word or do anything. I can also mention that he is a person who has sexual problems!

Neona: Gwen, you are a liar!

Gwen: No, I'm not. I'm telling the truth, Neona!

Neona: Gwen, please be happy that I got the job without you lying that Mr. Smith sexual assaults women!!!

Gwen: He does, you're not listening.

Neona: I don't care, BITCH!!!!

So, this woman had a job. She wanted to hang out with her boyfriend, so she lied about having the coronavirus. Then she got out of work. Then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend. Then she said, "I lied. Now we can...you know...water...sigh...lick...sigh." Then her boss texted, "Ew and YOU'RE FIRED."

One more story: One day this teen named Alexis got kicked out of a house, then went to live with her boyfriend. Then she got pregnant and posted it all on social media.

The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.

What do gay girls order in a bar?

Pussy juice.

Why did God give women legs?

1. To look at.

2. To wrap around your neck when you’re eating her out.

"Bippity Boppity, women are not property."

You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.

I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!

Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.

Why are women in love with plastic because they had a plastic "galflalflflfalfl?"

What is 6 inches tall when bricked up and is loved by women?

A strong man’s biceps.

There are women's support groups, but where are men's support groups?

Man: *behind the women* She's so ugly!

Woman: My back is not a voicemail, unless you're a coward and can only say it behind my back to my face.

Want to know of a funny joke?

Women drivers.

The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.

I've got something better for all of you. I may not have found it, but Google "hottest sexiest women ever." Then you'll want them!

"Just ditched a woman. Feelin' good!" -Techno

I like my women how I like my bacon.

Well Dunn!!!

Why did God create women with pussies?

Because:

1. Of course, God is a man.

2. Of course, he isn't gay.

3. Of course, he is a perv too (for wanting more pussies)!

My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.