Women jokes

What has 2 arms but no legs?

A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.

What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?

The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.

How do you know Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?

What do you call a crowd of horny white women?

Cotton waiting to be picked.

90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.

Why did Catholic women stop going to church?

Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.

If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.

Me: What has two legs and bleeds?

Friend: Um, women? Obviously?

Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.

There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.

As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”

George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”

Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”

Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.

Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"

Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!

Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.

Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.

Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?

Women were flying the plane.

Bippity Boppity,

Women are property.

What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?

Cot death.

Do you know how many women have been pope?

Nun.

There's only one gender. Women are property.

What is the reason for why women never look to the right?

Because they don't have any rights.

I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.