Women jokes

Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!

Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.

Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.

Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?

Women were flying the plane.

Bippity Boppity,

Women are property.

What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?

Cot death.

Do you know how many women have been pope?

Nun.

There's only one gender. Women are property.

What is the reason for why women never look to the right?

Because they don't have any rights.

Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?

Because they don't have another pair of balls.

I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.

Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...

Bloody seamen.

Women are like tornadoes.

They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.

Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.

What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.

What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?

Something big and warm 🍆.

All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

The man said, "My wife does!"

Why do they call it abortion? Because they aborted the mission.

What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.

Which is better looking, girls or women?

Why should old women never eat seafood?

'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.

A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.