Women jokes
When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.
History is mostly just a list of things men did while women were busy making sure they didn't die of scurvy.
There once was a bear and a rabbit, and they hated each other.
The bear and rabbit then stumbled upon a mystical talking tree. The tree said: “I can give you 3 wishes each if you will stop fighting!”
So the bear went first. “I wish all the bears inside the forest are ladies.” And all the bears within the forest became females.
The rabbit said: “I wish I had a helmet.” Rabbit gets the helmet, and the bear looks at him funny.
The bear wishes: “I wish all the bears in the United States are ladies.” The wish was granted.
The rabbit says, “I wish I’ve a bike.” By this point, the bear thinks the rabbit is the stupidest thing he’s ever seen. The rabbit could wish for cash and have all the bikes in the world.
The bear says: “I wish all the bears inside the world are women.” The wish is granted.
While it’s the rabbit’s turn to wish, he puts on his helmet, gets on his bike, and says: “I wish that bear is gay.”
I hope there are no women on here because they just aren't that funny.
Why do women have no need for umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe
Why do women only use their left arm? Because they don’t have rights.
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.
How do you get away with rape? Identify as transgender. Women can never be accused of rape, obviously
How do women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?
We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.
No one. Beyoncé said "To the left, to the left!" She really meant women have no rights.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.