Woman jokes
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
I must have raped a woman in a skip. She said she felt rubbish.
What does a woman call Stormzy in bed?
Stiff chocolate.
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
Women are like tornadoes.
They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
Big mummy milkers...
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm 🍆.
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
There’s a woman cutting onions when her husband walks in and starts crying. Onions was a good dog.
If she’s old enough to breed, she’s old enough for me.
What's better, a woman or a man?
Neither, for I am WHITE.