Woman Jokes

Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.

i like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey

Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.

A elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game The man asks "Is it your first time?" The woman replies "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."

wo(man) fe(male) we(men)

dishwash(her)

If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder. If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.

When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving it.

What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come

I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.

A plane is about the crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out. A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a person man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, takes of shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"

I see some objects over there... oh never mind, that's a woman.

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage? A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.

how did Stephan hawking please his woman he uses a hard drive.

What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?

Women.

A woman comes to the doctors an says ‘doctor, I think I have cancer’ the doctor checks it out ‘it’s all in your head’ the doctor says ‘phew’ said the woman, ‘a bunch of tumors, all in your head’