If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.
Man: "Is your body from Mcdonalds?" Woman: "Why, because your loving it?" Man: “No, because its fat and greasy.”
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen
Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew a light bulb.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can unscrew a light bulg
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?
The man, because he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
A woman comes to the doctors an says ‘doctor, I think I have cancer’ the doctor checks it out ‘it’s all in your head’ the doctor says ‘phew’ said the woman, ‘a bunch of tumors, all in your head’
A guy is due to meet his friends for drink at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late.
The guy says, “Well, you won’t believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her.”
The friends are cheering and one friend asks, “So… did you get any head?”
The guy replies, “No, I couldn’t find it.”
what is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs
How can you tell if your wife is dead? – The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says “oh my god your shoulders are broad!” another woman says “are you sure it’s a woman?”
A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation the man yelled. FREE DISHWASHER!
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered womens’ shelter?
Cook my dinner, if she knows what’s good for her.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to. He says to the first one "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny" He says to the second one "You are addicted to food, you named you daughter Candy" Then the third one whispers to her son “Come on Dick, lets go.”
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she’s away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, “You can’t tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn’t get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day you could have said that she died from complications.”
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, “Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can’t get down …”