Woman jokes
What is the difference between a snow woman and a snowman?
Snowballs.
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.
Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."
A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.
I think she was pulling my leg.
I believe in a woman's right to choose...
...whether she wants to cook first and then clean or clean first and then cook.
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.
If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀
I don’t see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀